Wednesday, October 1, 2014

You are smart if.......

You are smart if.......

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention.

Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”

She's kind of a walking poem, she's this perfect beauty...but at the same time very deep, very smart.

I always appear smarter when I dress up in my giant nipple costume. I know this because I'll overhear people say things like, "At least he's not a complete boob.

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

To generalize is to be an idiot.
When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened.

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw

‎I know you're still young but I want you to understand and learn this now. Marriage can wait, education cannot. You're a very very bright girl. Truly you are. You can be anything you want Laila. I know this about you. And I also know that when this war is over Afghanistan is going to need you as much as its men maybe even more. Because a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated Laila. No chance
Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at."

When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think.
"That's because you have eight functioning brain cells."
"Studies show that Marijuana is better for your health than those cigarettes," Hank said. 
Alaska swallowed a mouthful of fries, took a drag on her cigarette, and blew a smoke at Hank. "I may die young," she said. "But at least I'll die smart. Now, back to tangents.
― Jarod KintzAt even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it

As Alaska zipped through something obvious about linear equations, stoner/baller Hank Walsten said, "Wait, wait. I don't get it."

But I think that no matter how smart, people usually see what they're already looking for, that's all

I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it in person, I’d have caught her with another man. I don’t care if he was my clone, it isn’t right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.
” 

The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. Everything else is crap! I promise you! It's just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don't buy it. Be smart, be thoughtful, and be generous.

It’s a cliché to say that men think with their penises. But it’s a fact. And penises are notoriously stupid. My penis, for example, probably only has an IQ of 144, or about 12 times its length in inches when limp.

With intellectual labor your hard work is forever, while with manual labor your hard work is temporary and soon forgotten.

Wear your learning like your watch, in a private pocket; and do not pull it out and strike it merely to show that you have one

I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid.

Are you smarter than my brain in a jar? Have a pickle while you ponder it.

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